Total secret because we're besties right?
I am close to CANNOT-ing with my friend/boss. She's been in out-patient treatment for PTSD and trauma (serious family shit) since January-ish. Her commitment has wavered every couple of weeks (meaning she won't go) especially after a breakthrough she had in Feb or March (I know that's typical). Her insurance finally started cutting her off and she's not challenging it.
She has these big facebook posts about the challenge or wanting to get back to managing her life. Everyone she knows says rah-rah, you can do it, let me know if you need help, so happy you've done the work, blah blah.
She does not have her shit anywhere close together.
The only times I've seen her in the recent weeks (I work in her home), she's either on the bed with a blanket, on the couch with a blanket or in the bedroom after therapy not talking to anyone or coming out. This is the same as it was before treatment.
And I make half to most of my money from working for her. We HAD a weekly hourly agreement but that's CONSTANTLY CHANGED. I've said how important it is to me to have a solid schedule (minus illness, act of God) and still nothing. I asked when she needed me on Friday and she said blah hours blah "if you're not busy."
BITCH, I AM BUSY! DOING THIS! THIS IS MY BUSY!
Bitch= Woman who I respect and honor and think is wonderful but I feel I can't be honest with her about my frustrations.
I think she's using me taking care of her kid as a fucking crutch. Yes, the times that I trade off taking care of him is when she's on the couch. She comes into the living room to... be on the couch. She barely leaves the house. She "couldn't" take the kid anywhere outside for the past months because it was cold. Today, she said she was afraid it was too "shooty" (not a super violent neighborhood but has some incidents). I said it sounded like an excuse. Because someone dealing with agoraphobia might think of a gajillion reasons to not go outside.
Also, she made fun of Elmo's World. YOU DO NOT MAKE FUN OF ELMO'S WORLD!!!!
She called Mr. Noodle and his brother Mr. Noodle idiots. YOU DO NOT MAKE FUN OF MR. NOODLE!!!!
Who's Mr. Noodle? First one is Bill Mother-fucking Irwin. And if he had to mime "mother-fucking," you better believe that you'd understand it. So yeah. Guggenheim Fellow Bill Irwin. OBIE award winning Bill Irwin. DOUBLE TONY AWARD WINNING BILL MOTHER FUCKING IRWIN! The ONLY well known example of mime and clowning as respected performance art.
The other one is also great but more importantly (at the moment) is that he's dead. We don't need to make fun of a character on Sesame Street who is dead IRL. Nobody's talking about fucking the ghost of Mr. Hooper's mom on Oscar's trash can.
I just.. I nearly cannot.
UGH! (cathartic scream) STOP PLAYING CANDY CRUSH AND START PLAYING WITH YOUR SON! START BEING A FUCKING MOM AGAIN SO HE DOESN'T THINK MOMS ALWAYS LIVE ON COUCHES UNDER BIG BLANKETS!!!! PLAY WITH YOUR FUCKING SON!