Once upon a time, Meg Conley was a normal 16 year old girl who just wanted to make mouth hugs with a boy.
Sitting in a salon getting her first manicure, she overheard two women talking about how they were just too tired and un-sexy to give into their husbands' nightly demands.
And while Meg Conley was mystified at the time, now she gets it — really, she does.
But all the same, you guys should just be giving in. Why?
Her top 5 reasons, summarized:
1) If you're a mom, you probably feel frumpy from all of your mom duties. Having sex will make you feel like a sexy woman again — not just an unpaid cook and housekeeper. She also uses the phrase: "It is a lovely thing, finding yourself through the touch of someone else."
Let that linger for a moment.
2) She knows you're a modern feminist, and that's cool. But at the end of the day, men need to be treated like men in order to act like men. And what men want is sex. Nay, they need it. You should give it to him, otherwise he'll probably stop killing all the spiders. And then where will you be? Alone and covered in spiders.
3) Remember when your relationship was new? Pretend it still is. Nobody goes to see romantic comedies about a happily married couple working on their long-term, grown-up relationship. Which... is probably why people write lists like these and have unreal expectations. But that's none of my business.
4) Natural stress-reliever! Science! You wanna play mailbox baseball? Come on, you could go to jail. Have sex instead. These are your only two options.
5) It's fun! You like fun things, right? Or do you prefer doing boring stuff? Do you? No.
Meg caps it off by recommending you skip a day of cleaning and just have sex. Don't worry — you can still clean up everything tomorrow. And then have sex again. And get the kids ready for school and make them lunches and clean the dishes and the house and (probably) attend your full-time job.
I just wish I could figure out why you feel like you have no energy at night. An unsolvable mystery! Anyway, stop being a frigid, spider-covered loser and have fun!