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Truly truthful breaking news headlines

I wish someone would make a plugin to translate breaking news banners and messages into the real truth.

Example, “Trump to discontinue Obama policy of voluntarily releasing White House visitor logs.”

Would become, “Fuckwad “president,” seeking to hide basically everything (despite claiming he would be most transparent potus ever), won’t release visitor logs (shocker).”


Note this bit in the WaPo piece, “Since Trump took office in January, the page where the visitor logs had been publicly available has gone dark, and Trump administration officials said Friday that they will no longer maintain it, a move that the White House said would save taxpayers $70,000 by 2020.”

Whoa - that is a whole tiny bit of money!!!

Also, I think this NYT headline needed a second editor, “BREAKING NEWS Choate, the elite boarding school, has acknowledged a pattern of sexual abuse of its students by former teachers dating to the 1960s” (my issue is with the word “dating” in a headline about sexual abuse).

Talk about anything politics or news-related here. Also feel free to submit your translations of any breaking news bits or headlines.

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