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Trying to drag myself out of this

So after nightmares that have been going on for weeks, exhaustion, depression, a car accident (not hurt, and didn't hit another car), and a knock-down drag out fight with my parents the other day, I'm just so dead.

I took a walk this morning to grab a coffee and a cinnamon role (yummy, made things a bit better), and called my doctor and emailed my counselor and professor about the situation. Everyone understands and I really appreciate that. But I feel like since my type of illness isn't 'physical', but mental, that people just don't understand. I know that they do, but I always feel like if they can't see it, they don't think it's real.

So I'm going to try really hard to get to my 2pm class and, in the meantime, do any work I have to do. It's a good plan, and my alternative is to just head to the spa and spend the day there (it's right across the street). Or at least pick up a face mask and treat myself at home.


I'm telling myself I can do this, because I'm a hell of a lot stronger than I think, but it's hard. But life is hard and I can't afford to feel like this anymore. Funny thing is that before all this set in, I was happy and stable, and pretty proud of myself overall. Guess that the vicious cycle is just the way the cookie crumbles. Wish me luck for the day, I'm going to need it.

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