Burying below the cut.

.

I just got hit with a really horrid load of bad thoughts. I feel so gross and out of shape, and I hate my body right now. I know it's not healthy to attach so much of my self esteem to how I look, but I love wearing dresses and skirts and none of these beautiful things I own fucking FIT me anymore. And I've totally dropped the ball on the gym this past week, and eaten just a shit ton of junk food, and I feel so fucking awful and I can't stop crying. I'm worried that I'll never fit back into all these beautiful clothes I own. I'm really trying to work on it.

This weekend will be the last bit of debauchery, I'm planning, and then starting on Monday I'm going to be a little more structured about my diet and go back to my exercise routine, and fuck this cough. I want to feel better about myself again and not break down in tears every time I try on tights.