So my mother surprised us with a visit and told us of said visit while she was already in town staying with my brother. We aren't really on speaking terms after she flipped the fuck at me when I went on a trip with her to Dallas. She has apologized but her pattern of behavior is to get emotional and erratic to the point that 1. she is cruel 2. not emotionally stable. My husband doesn't really want her in our lives. I think she wants to be a good grandmother but without professional help she isn't much good to anyone.

We got together (again, last minute) yesterday and she barely touched or interacted with my daughter. Just smiled and took a few pictures. I understand she is uncomfortable but I can't deal with her being constantly indirect. For the life of her, she will never tell anyone what she thinks or how she feels. She will be indirect as humanly possible.

We are seeing her again today. I don't really want to waste our weekend dealing with this. But then I get gaslighted because I am not being a good daughter. I really can't deal with this. I want my daughter to have a good relationship with both her grandmothers but at this point I say fuck it.

Any advice?