I've been walking around in a fog for months now, alternating between anxious/depressed and determined to make shit happen, with the net effect of giving zero fucks about anything, and not in a good way. I need to snap myself out of it, (because I already feel like neglecting my work and that's a slippery slope) but I just don't know how. I got an email at work berating me for something largely out of my control (and why do people write "no offense" before they write something totally offensive, anyway?) and I just cannot bring myself to care about it. Like, I've never felt this level of apathy before. Now I kind of understand how people get into ruts and how that can escalate into depression. It's like I feel like absolute crap, but the actual process of getting to where I feel better sounds like it takes such a Herculean effort I just want to lock myself in my room and hide.
I don't even know where I'm going with this, I just needed to get it out there somewhere.