Welcome To The Bitchery

Ungratefulness or self preservation?

Hello! I am back. Muahahahaha


I have a real quandary that I would like to ponder here, in the hive mind. It involves compensation.


Let me preface this by saying I am going to try my best to not whine as I know that I am SO FORTUNTE to have a job, and if I sound like I'm throwing a pity party, I apologize, but I really need advice.

Now, I would say I am slightly underpaid for the level of responsibility and information (sensitive/confidential) I have to deal with at my job.

Salary boards and my friends in similar positions in other companies do/are saying that I am WAY underpaid.

In relation to the other people in the organization I am amongst the lowest paid. Which presents a small nagging problem when I find myself feeling resentful of those paid comparatively but who don't have to shoulder the same responsibilities.


Now, herein lies the hard part - this is literally the best job I've ever had. It's amazing in all other aspects, just not this one.

Why is this an issue? I'm getting older, I want to start a life and I feel I can't do that if I'm scraping by (and yes scraping, I live in SoCal). Buying a new car/house are currently really major investments for me, if not impossible at the rate I am going.


There is also my boyfriend who lives in the state I originate from and (although very VERY supportive of me and my career and my choices) I know would be DELIGHTED if I skipped back to town and got a job there.

Blah Blah rambling blah - okay. Okay.

When does asking for a raise - at to which level seems to be industry standard (even if it's WAY higher than what you currently make) become ungrateful and when is it considered self preservation?


I've never expected anyone to support me and I take a lot of pride in being able to do it myself, but I feel I sometimes forget to take the next steps up the ladder. It requires asking for it, and I don't like to do that.

I kind of see it both ways, and I wish I wouldn't feel bad for essentially asking to be monetarily recognized for the level of work I feel I am at, but here I am, feeling shitty. Is this a symptom of girlhood in which we are not meant to ask for things "above us"? Or things that we have not yet been told we can have? Am I conditioned to not want to step on any toes to my own detriment? I feel like I am.


Thoughts? Have you asked this question of your employer? What were the results?

Share This Story