I just (lightly) sliced my arm open whilst blocking my knitting project (which I JUST finished and hadn't thought would be done in time for the babby!!). I have a two inch bleeding gash down my arm from a steel pin draaaggging across it. This is likely due to my low intellect.
Please to regale me with tales of unlikely injuries. Gifs welcome as well.
Edit to add I also once broke my nose with the internet. And by that I mean I dropped my computer on my face while reading the entire internet. Blood *everywhere*.