In my life, before this, i have never actually wished someone would die. Now, i do. I feel badly about it, but in all honesty, i wish he were dead.

This is bad because he is the father of my child, my former spouse of 30 years.

And my ex-spouse of 2 years. Who recently married his soul mate. After cheating on me, and LYING for a year. I cannot forgive the lying. He did not even have enough human decency to tell me the truth, after saying, many times, that he would never lie to me again.

I just don't know how to move on from this. Betrayed, angry, obsessive. Know that there is someone out there who hates you.

Recovery is hard. I'm sorry.

The worst part is that he doesn't care, i am the one who is suffering. Foolish me. He is happy in his new world of denial.