For those who've bookmarked this year's call for evacuating your bowels into your underwear, I present a cozy space to get back to neutral.

Sit back, relax:

Think about easy, rational, non-stressful things like basic math:

and hot stone massages:

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Have a relaxing cup of tea:

while you reminisce about your favorite childhood summer memory:

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Here's your imaginary mom,with a teddy bear:

And here's your imaginary Mee Maw saying she's got just the thing (spoiler alert: it's booze):

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Here's your Uncle Neil to explain how everything has an answer, whether we know it or not:

Lastly, here's some lavender:

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Now take a deep breath and slowly exhale. Because the remaining 1,249 ghost stories aren't going to read themselves.