For those who've bookmarked this year's call for evacuating your bowels into your underwear, I present a cozy space to get back to neutral.

Sit back, relax:

Think about easy, rational, non-stressful things like basic math:

and hot stone massages:


Have a relaxing cup of tea:

while you reminisce about your favorite childhood summer memory:


Here's your imaginary mom,with a teddy bear:

And here's your imaginary Mee Maw saying she's got just the thing (spoiler alert: it's booze):


Here's your Uncle Neil to explain how everything has an answer, whether we know it or not:

Lastly, here's some lavender:


Now take a deep breath and slowly exhale. Because the remaining 1,249 ghost stories aren't going to read themselves.