Welcome To The Bitchery
Welcome To The Bitchery

*Spoilers for a book published in 1997 to follow*

I am reading Sorcerer's Stone to the Nanobots. Because they only pay attention to things that interest them, and they were a bit young for the movies when they were out, they are pretty much unspoiled, and it's been really fun listening to their reactions and predictions, so I thought I would share.


We are currently in the middle of Chapter 10 — Oliver Wood has just introduced Harry to quidditch, and tomorrow night we'll get the read about the troll in the dungeons.

So, in no particular order, here are some reactions and predictions:


Question from Mommy: Do you think Harry is right? Did Hagrid take the package out of Gringotts just in time and that's what the person who broke in was trying to take?

Both: YES

Mommy: And that's what the big dog is guarding?

Both: YES

Mommy: What do you think it is?

Kilobyte: Voldemort's wand. Or maybe part of it. But it's something to do with Voldemort's power.


Megabyte: It can't be a wand, the package is only two inches long. It's a source of power.

Mommy: Who tried to break in?

Both: Voldemort. Or Snape, acting on behalf of Voldemort.


Mommy: What do you think of Snape? What's his deal?

Kilobyte: He's evil. He's Voldemort's servant.

Megabyte: No, he was more than a servant.

Mommy: Why does Snape hate Harry?

Both: Because Harry broke Voldemort's power. (MB seems a bit unsure as to whether Snape is still wholeheartedly behind Voldemort. There's more going on there than we can see yet.)


Mommy: Is Voldemort dead?

Both: NO!!

Mommy: Is he coming back?

Both: YES


Mommy: What do you think of Hermione?

Megabyte: You like her. Because she's smart like you.

Kilobyte: She's OK. She's smart. She doesn't like to break the rules. Harry and Ron should listen to her.

Illustration for article titled Unspoiled Childrens Reactions to Harry Potter

Mommy: What about Neville?

Megabyte: He's not very good at potions.

Kilobyte: But he did learn how to make a boil-CREATING potion!

Megabyte: Why couldn't Snape just have someone finish the boils-curing potion really quick and give it to him there? (Mommy suggests that perhaps the potion requires a long time to make and Madame Pomfrey would have had it ready-made in the hospital wing. Megabyte agrees, this is plausible, and wonders if the potions in the hospital wing were made by Snape.)


Kilobyte: Toads are really out of fashion, Hagrid says. And I think it would be really hard to keep a toad because it would keep hopping around.

Megabyte: But it would fit in your pocket!

Kilobyte: I would rather have a cat.

Megabyte: I would rather have a creeper.

Mommy: This is Harry Potter, not minecraft.

Megabyte: Then I would want a dragon.


Mommy: What do you think of Hagrid?

Kilobyte: He keeps the mice in his coat to feed to the owls. And he's funny.

Mommy: Because he gave Dudley a pig's tail?

Kilobyte: That was AWESOME.

Megabyte: And he bent Mr. Dursley's gun. But I don't want to eat his rock cakes. What are rock cakes?


Mommy: Anything else?


Kilobyte: Fred and George are cool. They're the best. (Mommy wholeheartedly agrees that Gred and Feorge are awesome and she is already sad about the end)


Mommy: What house would you be in?

Kilobyte: Ravenclaw.

Megabyte: Ravenclaw.

Mommy: What house would I be in?


Share This Story

Get our newsletter