spacer, tw mental illness and suicide
My aunt is still alive. She returned home late last night and my uncle called the cops as soon as she arrived to do a welfare check. I am stunned that they didn’t take her in to the hospital for psychiatric evaluation, because not only did she threaten to kill herself and give specific details of a plan, she cut herself in front of my uncle and hit him/threw several objects at him. I don’t know if he even told all of these details to the cops as it’s always standard operating procedure for my family to not acknowledge how fucked up and serious problems are until someone’s actual life is on the line. Sweeping things under the rug is like an Olympic sport to them as far as I’m concerned. The (sad but) good news is, I feel like this has finally shocked my mom into seeing what I have told her for years and years now. My aunt is sick. She is abusive. She is controlling. She is (likely) mentally ill. She is in immense pain and trying to hurt others to assuage it. She needs help.
I texted my uncle today and suggested he go get a mental health warrant to get her admitted to a hospital because it’s clear she won’t go willingly, but I still believe her life is in grave danger and she’s much at risk of hurting other people as well. I can’t force him to do it though and that is what is breaking my heart. I can’t make anybody in my family do anything or force them to acknowledge how bad things have gotten. All I can do is insulate myself and try to do my own self-care. This has been especially hard because I felt like my emotional “account” was already in the negative. My breakup is still taking a whole lot out of me and it sucks extra bad because Ex-Boyfriend was always the one I would turn to in times like this for support, even when we were still just friends. I wish he would have just been here to hold me the last few nights. I miss him so much. I thought I was getting better and moving past some of it but this recent development feels like it just smacked me way back down and now I’m 20 steps back again.
I’ve had to tell my mom and my uncle to leave me out of this unless something happens that will directly affect me or that I have some sort of immediate control over, because hearing about my aunt’s actions while knowing that nobody else seems to be stepping up to the plate just wrecks me even further. I called the cops, I’ve tried to encourage everyone to take this dead fucking seriously and not just treat it like some shallow attention ploy, I’ve passed along information about the warrants. I can’t do anymore if no one will help me. It’s tearing me apart and I was already feeling broken as it was.
Thank you for your kind thoughts and prayers. If you have more to spare I would definitely appreciate them. I need as much as I can get.