About a month ago I found out on Facebook that my best friend started dating my ex, and had been for months without giving me a heads up. I wrote this post and got a lot of great responses. I've been keeping mostly quiet since then, but thought I'd give an update.
I texted some with my friend the day that I found out. Told her that I wouldn't be doing myself any favors by just saying I'm okay with it and that I had to speak up about how hurt it made me. I told her I felt like she didn't care enough about me to give me a heads up. Her response was a "sorry you feel bad" response, and she said that she thought I hated him anyways (Okay, fine, but even if I did hate someone, why is my best friend not giving me a clue about a relationship with him? He and I had a history and she had advised me about him on many occasions in the past). I wrote out a long text and in the end, I told her that I loved being her friend the last 9 years, but that I deserved better from my best friend. We haven't spoken since.
Today is her birthday. I've hid her from my feed, but I took one last look at all the updates she's made to her profile, pictures with him, lovey gushy comments about him. This woman was more than a best friend to me, I met her at a time in my life when I was just coming into my own, she was a confidant and a friend and practically a sister. It feels like a death and it honestly hasn't gotten better. I should be wishing her well on her birthday, but I can't. I'm not sure I'll ever feel like I can get over this hurt. But I do deserve better, and once upon a time, she would have thought I did too.