So a while ago I wrote this thing and was all, "Fuck the big banks!" and you guys gave me some awesome advice about how to submit a compliant about Wells Fargo. I did that, and the news I got back was basically what I feared the most. My family was getting the statements all along. They got a letter when my loan had been sold in 2010. They've been getting mail the whole time, and my mom just never told me.
Here's some background on my mom. She had me when she was 20. My dad was a huge alcoholic, and my childhood wasn't easy. I liked that she treated me like an adult, but looking back I see that some things she did and said were highly inappropriate for a mother. For example, when I was 11 or 12 she told me that my dad said she tasted bad. I had no idea what that meant (I thought it had to do with kissing), but now I'm kind of horrified she'd say that to a child. She was young and in a really bad situation, but I really do think she did her best. She left him and we were really poor for a while but we eventually got out of the situation and she moved in with and married a new guy. He's stern and stingy, but not a bad guy. I had a really nice time in high school for the most part. We had some rough patches and really big fights, and sometimes she behaved inappropriately, but all and all I'd say my teenage years were really good.
I went to college with no help from them. Sometimes I literally had a dollar in the bank and I still never got anything. My mom would always put it on me, say I was doing too many activities (I was a theater major and my "activities" were plays and improv). I held down two jobs but still sometimes couldn't make ends meet. We fought about money a lot, and she always preached personal responsibility. In this time, she also went bankrupt because she was going on too many weekend drinking trips with her friends. She was hardly ever home on the weekends, and my siblings were all getting more and more fed up with her. We had a couple of different financial incidents. She sold my car without my permission (we were planning on selling it and she gave the money to me, but the price was much lower than what I was asking). She kept my name on an old joint bank account I had told her to close and overdrew it, and I'd get the calls, but I couldn't close it myself because I had been a minor when we opened it. When I graduated, I still saw nothing from her, and she still said she had nothing to give. Other than two sets of $50 I've gotten in the year and half since graduating, she's provided me nothing. She even kicked me off the family plan when I wanted a smart phone so now I pay $40 more per month.
I love my mom very, very much. We've been though a lot together, and I really love spending time with her. But she knew I was missing this loan. She knew I couldn't figure out what happened, and she neglected to tell me about the mail she was receiving. I never would have found out if I wasn't tracking my credit. If I had known about it, I wouldn't have left my old job and taken this pay cut, because I would have known I couldn't afford to. She won't take responsibility. She won't help me at all. She won't even let me go back on the family plan. She keeps acting like I'm asking her to pay the loan, but I keep explaining that I'm just asking for some help, any help, and that I would never ask for it if she had informed me about the interest statements I was getting prior to the loan defaulting. I know from my sister that she's saving for a week long drinking trip to Mexico this spring (savings that was supposed to take my family to Disneyworld this summer). She hasn't visited me once since I've moved. She never calls me. And now I'm in this hole because she was immature and neglecting, and all she keeps saying is, "I told you that you couldn't afford this school." She won't admit fault and when I try to approach her rationally, she says, "All my kids hate me. You're making me out to be some kind of monster. I did my best and you're ungrateful." She tries to guilt me until I feel bad enough to forgive her, but I don't want that to happen anymore. I love my mom, and I know she's been though a lot, but I'm really, really angry, and I just don't know what to do about it.