Ii was doing really good this weekend and now I'm back to not giving a shit. And I just can't get myself to want to do anything good for me. I haven't drank anything, eaten or talked to a real life person all day. I don't five s shit about training for a 5k I'm never going to be able to do. More people are angry at me and to be honest I'm pretty angry back. I've been called delusional, a toxic personality and narcissistic in the last 24 hours (I deserved some criticism no doubt but not that). I took my meds but only because BB made me. We also have been a pot free household for Bout two weeks. That has been hard. I have no coping tools. Besides klonopin that just makes me useless and tired. In fact I can barely keep my eyes open after taking the normal dosage. I'm supposed to go out to dinner with some friends but I'm so so depressed I think I'd be an awful dining companion. I just want to go home and forget I even exist.
Eta: forgot to mention my new diagnosis is treatment resistant depression which basically means depression symptoms persist despite taking two different types of antidepressants. So I've been dealing with a lot of anger about that as well.
For the stalkers I have reading about my TRD and making rude ass comments some comprehension might help. It means being on two different types of ADs that effect different parts of the brain don't work. I've tried many many many different combinations.