I apologize for the long and rambling nature of this post, but it’s 2am here and I just got home from a wedding. I want to get this down in writing before I go to sleep.
So tonight we went to a friend’s wedding. My best friend was one of the groomsmen, and this was our first chance to meet his new girlfriend. They’ve been dating for 2 months, but this was her first time meeting any of his close friends. They met through an online dating website.
She seemed nice, but I was a little skeptical of her. Over the course of the evening, she made several dubious claims about knowing celebrities, working in a very high profile job in another state, and doing some modeling work for a well known magazine. I shrugged it off as someone stretching the truth a bit to try to impress her new boyfriend’s friends.
On the hour long drive home, my better half and I talked about how we felt about this new girlfriend, and how we didn’t think that all of these claims could be true. The claims were big enough that just Googling her name should return some amount of verifiable proof. Now I’m not advocating stalking, but, for example, if someone tells you that they won an Academy Award for best screenplay, looking that up is fair game. That’s just fact checking.
So we get home, and at this point my curiosity has gotten the better of me, and I Google her name. Instead of seeing anything to validate her claims, I’m met with a wave of news reports about how this woman has been charged with a serious crime earlier this year. I don’t want to get too into specifics here, but let’s just say that someone died, and my friend’s new girlfriend is being charged with some very serious felonies in conjunction with that death. There’s also pictures and video on these news articles that confirm that this woman is definitely the same woman that we had dinner with tonight. There’s no doubt about that part.
I guess what I’m wondering is how do I bring this subject up with my best friend? Do I bring it up at all or just hope the relationship doesn’t last? Does he already know? All I had to do was Google her name. I’d think that’s like step one of meeting someone you meet online: make sure that they aren’t dangerous.
I’m going to bed now, but I appreciate any advice that you might have and I’ll look at it in the morning. Mostly I just really wanted to get this down in writing.
Edited to add (Monday, 1am): Thank you everyone for the useful insight and perspective. I am definitely going to tell him in person as soon as I can. If I seemed unsure about speaking up, it was only because I was still processing everything last night. I contacted my friend to try and meet up on Sunday but he was at her place all day. He knows that I want to talk in person about something. Again, I really appreciate all of the support that I got from GT today.
UPDATE (Tuesday, just after midnight)
My friend came over after work tonight. I explained how I ended up Googling her, and how I was very surprised when my search turned up a number of articles about her being charged with 7 different things up to and including *redacted*, which is a really serious offense.
He tells me that he was already aware of the situation. Not because he Googled her, but because while he was on vacation she called him from jail. Here’s the part that is of particular concern to me: he still hasn’t Googled her. He’s getting all of his information from her. He says that he doesn’t think that she did anything malicious, and that it was just a matter of negligence. I can’t say that I’m thrilled that they’re still together, and I encouraged him to please at least look at an article with the autopsy results so that he’s informed.
Overall, that didn’t go as expected and if we hang out with her again soon it’s going to be really, really weird. But I’m glad that I said something and I appreciate all of the support from GT.