The condescending dickbag of a turdweasel management company boss called me and left a horrid voicemail in his horrid nasal Napoleon-complex voice about how we owe him “ten and a half thousand dollars” and that if “you want to be evicted we can arrange that” because he is THE WORST.

Uh, dude. We have court proceedings going on because you numbskulls served us with papers midway through August instead of just letting us pay late like normal people when we got back from vacation, AN AGREEMENT YOU HAD MADE WITH US. Had you not done so, you would have had your money for the last four months.

Per our court date last month, you were supposed to fix things in the apartment prior to us paying, which your lawyer agreed to, so you can shove it up your racist, sexist, slimy, carpetbagging, idiotic, criminally tight anus. GOOD DAY.

Whew. Felt good to get that out.