I've been grading which I really, really need to do. But then a thought occurred to me: how do most people say "hello" when answering the phone? Is it a statement, a question, or an explanation? Or something cutesy, like "whuzzup."

Well, it would be pretty easy to do a study on this: you'd just call a randomly selected sample and ask them to complete a brief research study. But the study is just filler; the real data collection would be all at the beginning of the phone call, when they say "hello[.][?][!] [not some weird emoji] [but this is: k -<@ l {it's a person down on one knee and laying a rose down in front of another person.}]"

But then I got to thinking, would this ever pass the IRB? How would you get informed consent from the subject without influencing their response? Or can it apply retroactively, so that they can give consent without knowing that they have already given the information they're consenting to?"

This is very important. From now on, whenever I get a call from a number I don't recognize, I'll have to assume it's someone doing the study above.