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Welcome To The Bitchery
Illustration for article titled Walligator here..

with a report (tail wag, tail wag).

This year is gonna be great! I saw it with my own 4 feet! I smelled it with my BIG nose. I licked my balls all week to remind you humans that all will be okay because they're crystal and can see shit.


I ran up the block, down the block, up the block...and then down. Super fucking YAY! I was so excitey~pants that I took Mom's legs out from under her...Sorry MMMAAAHHHMMM!

Yay, yay, 2015!!!

MAHM! Where is my cookie?

love, Wallace McStinkPaw, III

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