Because I sure as fuck don’t know what I want to do. And I literally have no one to talk to that doesn’t have an invested interest in my decision.
So I’m laid up with a fractured foot (which sucks and is a super annoying injury and my dogs cannot stop jumping/sleeping on my super fractured and bruised foot and I hate them so much right now). I am going a little stir crazy. My mother, who I have a distant relationship with, not for anything bad, kindly helped me out monetarily while I get back on my feet (literally). So we’re talking more than usually do. In doing so, I let her know I am seriously thinking about moving away from where I am, and haven’t really decided what I am going to do next.
My sister is making a hard sell to move to her city. I love my sister. She is one of my best friends. I know some other people that live in her city. It’s close to my mother. It’s close to where I grew up, so the general attitude/lifestyle/climate is familiar. I could probably get a job relatively easily with some hustling. I have a wide skill set. It’s a proper city. It’s close to the ocean, which I miss to the point of dreaming about it. It’s also the PNW and gloomy, and I have been in a climate of constant sunshine for the past 20 years. I like heat and sun. I don’t know if I want to go back to overcast climate. Plus, I am concerned about the possible safety net dynamic for my seriously stressed out sister. I love her and want to be there for her because she is stressed the fuck out, but so am I and I don’t know if I can handle that dynamic right now.
I could move to where my little brother is. We have a very chill dynamic. It would be low stress. Also a proper city. A little better climate. Fun city, no water (which is an oddly big thing for me right now. I miss the ocean so much). It’d be low stress. I don’t have any really big feeling about it though.
Now my mom just offered to have me move back in with her and my stepdad while I finish school to become a CPA. In my home city. I could become a CPA within 2 years. She thinks it would be an good career path. Which yes. I have the background. I don’t have much time left in school. I just, do not want. I think I would be so bored. And I don’t think she knows me well enough to know that. And oh my god, there would probably be soooooo much social pressure involved, given their lifestyle, which was a lot of the reason that we’re not close. But it’s so very nice of her to offer. I just, want to tear my face off at the very idea. But it could be the smart responsible choice. Plus, excellent connections/networking.
As a fourth offer, the dude I have a very weird/complicated relationship with thinks we should move to a year round ski town that is about 2 hours from my home city. He is often the worst/unreliable. I do not like to ski or snowboard. I do not like cold. I don’t know if I can handle a small town. The city I am in currently is pretty much a really big small town, and I have a hard time with it. This is my least favorite option.
Or I could stay here. Which I’m not a fan of right now. Or I could move someplace completely new. I just don’t have any place in mind. When I’ve gone to new places with no safety nets before, I knew where I wanted to go.
So, be my life coaches GT. What the hell should I do. I have at least 4 months left where I’m at due to my lease and the fact that it would be stupid to leave before my other brother’s wedding.