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Happy wifes, happy life!

We were kind of bickering the night before Christmas Eve, okay, it was me, I was being a bit of a snot and finally I told her “please I’m sorry for being a bitch. Please please please open what I made you early because I need you to know I love you more than you can imagine and *how* I love you...” and she said basically the same thing back to me.

As soon as we started opening the gifts we dissolved into mad fits of laughter because we done went and made basically the same things for one another because sappy af girlfriends gonna be sappy af.


I took two decks of playing cards, hole punched them, and put them onto two giant binder rings to make a book type thing. I put a label onto each one with something I love about her handwritten onto it... with about 50 teeny tiny stickers on each card. I had to use tweezers to put the little stickers on they’re so goddamned tiny and I have no nails whatsoever anymore because lesbian.

She made me 102 I Love You Because... cards written onto little pieces of colored paper (and laminated them!) and tucked them into a small treasure chest she painted and covered in umpteen layers of lacquer (think: that wedding chuppah thing Owen Wilson made in Meet The Parents. That much lacquer.)


There was a special card in the mix that I had to redeem for a “sweet treat! The first of many!” Which I assumed was for candy of some sort but it wasn’t candy. Not at all.

It was a light blue box with a fancy white bow. This blue box came directly from Tiffany’s in Manhattan.


My very first item from Tiff! It matches the 1837 titanium band she wears to work to deter advances from would be suitors.


And, now I know that when the time is right, we’ll both be sporting matching wide band Tiffany Locks rings. Because we’re both basic bitches and we both dig that Tiffany stuff, and we’ll want everyone to know we got that shit locked DOWN.

This concludes my post holidays random gift bragging post.

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