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Wedding Party Fisticuffs

Another tale from the host stand in Chicago.

Last night was surprisingly tame at our bar/restaurant. I was a little shocked, my manager though not so much. We're not a very Irish bar, and we're not in an Irish neighborhood. We don't dye anything green, or do specials on shots of Jameson. NOPE. Just a regular Saturday for us, but Chicago goes balls to the walls over the top St. Patty's day.

It'd already been a rough night. A woman grabbed food off a strangers plate at the bar, after she'd been cut off for being too drunk and sobbing at the bar. She was aghast someone would call her out for being weird, gross and a drunk, and a screaming match between two women insued.

Manager booted her and her five friends, they tried to argue and the food stealing woman was sizing my manager up like she was ready to rumble! My manager is built like a former football player (american not soccer for my latin american & across the pond readers...) ... Thank god

So the night despite the food theft, was going pretty smoothly. It's me and one other hostess and we're killing time at this point til we can both be let go for the evening. I don't quite remember what all happened, but I remember the distinct tone of a woman's voice when we're trying to get someone's attention and she's yelling "No, no! STOP!" Just to the left of us in the lounge area.

I turn and like something out of a goddamn TV show, these two brosephs have each other hemmed up by the tie and collar, a girl in a formal dress basically dangling like a cat in between trying to break it up. Guys behind trying to grab shirt tails and shoulders and pull them back. People swearing red faced, and hands are up.

I have things in my hand still, menus and coasters and walk over. Like "Guys... guys... STOP! NO! NO! We can't have this here! STOP!" No avail. I'm just being swallowed up by the group of people now. One dude even trying to tell me "It's okay, they're brothers." (BITCH WHAT?!)


I see one of the other servers and a busser run over. She tosses her server tray on like a table and starts yanking hands and pulling these dudes apart.

We finally get in between them and they're screaming and shouting at each other still. So I have to yell..



And proceeded to hustle "Put your drink down ma'am, and get out. Put your coat on outside." Clapping my hands together. Let's go!

I felt rude that I have to hustle these people out of here so brusquely. I picked up their drinks and tossed them right then and there. Full drinks and beers. I was livid. I hate yelling. I hate fighting. Sure yeah no one likes those things outside of professional situations (I hope). I am so mad this happened. AGAIN. I know it's to be expected, summer is coming, we're getting more popular and the neighborhood we're in is gentrifying quickly. But I was upset by this, like a lot. I didn't have to write up a report for it, thank god... at least not last night. I was pissed that this one dude kept coming in (probably to pay) and when I said "No you have to go." He tells me to relax he wasn't even in the fight. But they're with you, you're whole crew has to go you pest covered douchenozzle. If any of them file a complaint about me or us on yelp I will hurt someone.


Fuck you brosephs. Thanks to my co-workers and manager for having my back.

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