My sister's wedding: the tickets have been bought, and I'm leaving Thursday night, the 26th. If there are any GTers in Aberdeen or Edinburgh and you feel like getting a drink or something (I'm gonna need it!) let me know! maybe we can work something out. She decided she does want me in the wedding after all (which weirdly makes me happy), although a requirement is that I wear a head covering. Which, whatever. That's probably the least offensive part of her beliefs to me.
My wedding: GreenHunk and I went to therapy again today and we've been doing a lot, lot better. Not that things are completely fixed, that's going to take some time, but we have a way forward and some practical skills that are working, and we've had a lot of really good conversations and we both are really committed to fixing things. I have not taken my anger out on him at all in the last 3 weeks - I'm learning to cool down and express myself without blaming, and I'm doing a lot better at handling my own anxiety. We definitely feel closer and more hopeful. GreenHunk really doesn't want to put the wedding off a year - it's actually kind of adorable. He tried to make it out like he thought I'd be disappointed, and I was like "no, I want what's best for the relationship more than I want a wedding," and then he was so crestfallen that I was like "wait, YOU don't want to wait a year do you?" and I was right. So pending another month or two of therapy and progress, I think we're going to continue as we were. I also found someone who wants to play and sing live music for us during the ceremony, and he's a friend and super talented, and is also up to be the DJ. So all the vendors are taken care of.
So for Valentine's Day, I am celebrating not the happily-ever-after kind of romance, but the kind of love that says, this is work and we are going to do it because the people we love matter. And the kind of love that isn't just romantic - the kind I feel for my sister and I hope some small part of her feels for me. I know there are a lot of Valentine's Day haters out there, but I hope you do something fun and celebrate anyone you love, even if you just drink wine and throw things with them (actually that's really fun). I <3 you guys.