Welcome To The Bitchery
Welcome To The Bitchery

This is because the internet in general is talking about Maya Hawke, because she plays a character in the new season of Stranger Things (I haven’t seen any of it yet) and literally the only thing I know about Maya Hawke is that her parents are Ethan Hawke and Uma Thurman, AND that this one time, like over 10 years ago, her dad’s travel agent called me up at Budget rental car, repeated both Ethan and Maya’s names, just like, so many more times than necessary. Obnoxiously frequent name mentions, because she just really wanted me to be aware that it was THAT Ethan Hawke and that his DAUGHTER! MAYA! Would be with him.

Unrelated to poor Ethan Hawke and his travel agent trying to destroy any illusions of anonymity he may have held onto, I also once made a hamburger for a man who looked suspiciously like Jerry Springer. When I looked up from the grill and gave him a double take, he nodded and shot me back a look that seemed to say “Yes. It’s Me. Jerry Springer. Please leave me alone.” So I did. And later that evening got in an argument with my co-worker about whether it was in fact Jerry Springer, because honestly our home town is a busy tourist spot, but nobody actually believes the rumors we occasionally get about celebrity visitors. But then I found out that he was filming Ring Master at the time in St John NB, which is less than 2 hours away.

So anyway, Jerry Springer orders his burger with mustard and relish, and Ethan Hawke is willing to really slum it when it comes to rental cars.


What odd celebrity brushes have you had? What inane details can you tell us about them?

Share This Story

Get our newsletter