I've been with my family since Saturday, since my dad was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. We've finished my parents' wills and my dad's living will, which was rough.

He sees the oncologist tomorrow. We're worried about what he'll say. Then again, he hasn't gotten any treatment yet (except for an ulcer.) We went on a day trip to Mt. Hood to see the snow on Tuesday and drove into Portland yesterday. He seemed to have more of an appetite, which is good. We just hung out and talked. We got him some cannabis until he gets his medical marijuana card (you can legally have small amounts already and it will be fully legal here in a few months.) I have all these high-calorie medical foods shipped in by Amazon, and I am constantly forcing him to eat or drink them. I got him a bath cushion because he loves soaking in the tub, and he doesn't have enough body fat to do so comfortably.

Dad is much thinner than normal, but otherwise he doesn't seem that sick. He isn't jaundiced like many people in his condition. He's a little weaker than normal, but he doesn't look like he's dying. It's easy to forget how likely it is that he's dying. I just hope we have enough good time left (I know, there is never enough good time left.)

My dad's coworkers came by to pick up his company-owned work truck, which made my mom cry (the finality of it, I think.)

I'm also going to postpone my student teaching until January. My school is going to work with me on this, for which I am grateful. I'm probably going to be paying my parents' mortgage for a while, so I don't want to rely on my husband's income alone for this. I just don't feel safe taking three months of unpaid leave right now. It's only 5 1/2 months later than what I wanted.


That way I can be here when I need to (my parents are in Oregon and I live in San Francisco.)

Let me leave you with my latest Facebook post:


ETA: Removed some family stuff.