Remember this post and how I was like, no it’s not bedbugs and you all were like, it’s totally bedbugs?

It’s bedbugs.

This morning I woke up to several clusters of bites in threes, and I was like, this is fucked. It would be insane if it were not bedbugs. So I ran a couple errands and woke up Mr. PKB when I got back, and we checked again. GAHJDOFAHFIDHOIGRENBOADFEWWWWWW. There were three big disgusting ones and twenty-odd little ones all clustered in the space between the pillowtop and the mattress, right on the seam. We hadn’t caught them before because we had been tipping the mattress up onto that corner, and they were juuuuuuust outside of the sightline.

Mr. PKB had an outbreak of them six or so years ago in his last apartment, so we jumped in the car and dropped $400 (which we can thankfully afford) on mattress and box spring enclosures, new pillows and pillow enclosures, this spray, diatomaceous earth, and an iron that has a button to spray steam. Right now he’s finished up steaming the box spring (we already sprayed and steamed the mattress), and then I’m going to spray it down. Once both it and the mattress dries, we’re going to enclose them. Then we’re going to sprinkle the earth under the bed and along the wall (which has already been sprayed and sprinkled with cinnamon) and work on the clothes.

I already bagged up all our clothes (except for the ones hanging up—we ran out of bags) and we’re going to go to the laundromat and dry the clean ones on hot for a while and wash and dry the dirty ones.

Luckily, there is zero sign of bedbugs anywhere else in the apartment so I think we’ll be okay. It just makes me feel so disgusting and unclean, and it’s so expensive, and so much work. My apartment manager is also having someone come and commercially spray for them on Monday. His face was sooooo unhappy when I told him what was up. I guess they had an outbreak four or five years ago? It’s horrible.

On top of that, I’m supposed to have houseguests next weekend, and one of them bought a nonrefundable plane ticket two months ago. BAH.

Silver lining: now I know what was biting me and can make it stop. It’s a very, very small sliver of silver, but I’ll take it.

I really just want to set everything on fire.

TL;DR: Bedbugs are gross and I hate them.