I had my first case of sleep paralysis last night. That was fun. Sure it was too for the neighbors.
I heard some voice out of nowhere (hella fucking demonic), and then felt pressure pushing down on me (Pushing down on you/no man ask for...#Bowie #Queen). MFW.
My first thought: This is it. Finally got my ass possessed. Just like the earthquake adventure, except for real this time.
My second thought: Time to scream for my mommy.
PRESSURE MORE INTENSIFY.
"MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY!" (Came out "MAH-MEEEEE")
Then it was over. I ran out of bed into my living room.
Then I remembered I live alone.
My mommy wasn't there.
And demons don't have time to possess my dumb ass, nor do ghosts, nor do whatever else.
I heard through the paper thin walls people going "What happened? What? Bro, did you hear that?"
I was all "Do not come over, do not come over, I'm just insane, do not come over."
Then I went back to bed, said The Lords Prayer a few times to be safe.
Now I'm up and feel tired.
Fuck you, sleep paralysis. Or demon. Sorry neighbors..