Uhm, yeah. Everyone who said I was missing something? I was. Like, an obvious thing.
I know most of you said sleep it on and talk to him tomorrow, but I obviously didn't listen. I didn't show him the post but I did basically tell him everything that I said in it. The first thing I received was utter shock, as in that he didn't even realize I was feeling this way so strongly. And then I received apologies, and then an explanation, which was something I feel ridiculous for not realizing in the first place.
First off, the super obvious. He's also insanely stressed, and turns out that he's even _more _stressed than he let on. I'm obviously not going to discuss why, but there is a lot more going on than I thought. He didn't want to dump his stress on me because I'm going through enough of my own shit, but even more than that, _he's an introvert. _
I'm not an introvert. I'm the textbook definition of an extrovert. When I get stressed, I reach out to people. I become super mushy and loving and I want to be surrounded by everyone all the time. He does not react that way. When he becomes stressed, he closes in. He shuts down and pulls away from everyone to deal with things on his own.
We had a decent talk about it, with him explaining how he handles stress and how he honestly didn't realize how it was affecting me, and that since he has been single for a long time, he's still getting used to the shift. That he felt _horrible _that I felt the way I did and didn't intend for me to feel that way at all. That I'm one of the best things in his life as of late and he now realizes that he hasn't been showing that. And it's also tying in to the sex issue - that he normally has a high libido, but he stress is taking its toll and it has _nothing _to do with me. Really, that none of this has to do with me. That he still feels very strongly towards me, if not even more so than he initially did, but he handled his personal problems in the way that he was used to without realizing that it had an effect on me.
And then we talked about poop and our mutual hatred of Christmas music.
So, uh, sorry guys. I didn't mean to freak you all out in the first place. I know that everything I told you can't be fixed with one phone call, and we're gonna talk more soon when it's not almost 5 am, but he did _really _listen to me and explain himself without getting defensive at all. I'm also sorry for anyone I didn't respond to on my last post, I was just on the phone so I was focused on that. Consider this post a response?
Thank you all, so much. You ALL (and I mean everyone who commented, everyone_) _gave me great advice which I did and will continue to take to heart.
Edit - I did also delete the last post. I just, it was quite personal, as was pointed out to me. I'd rather it be gone. I hope you all understand.