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Well, that was weird

I've talked about Great White Buffalo/One that got away/whatever the fuck he is before on here.

We didn't talk for like a month, but we started talking again recently. He's going through a super rough break-up and I'm going through a divorce, so neither of us has really been in a place to be with each other, understandably. So we're kind of just booty calls/weird moral support for each other at the moment.

He came down for my birthday last weekend and it was a lot of fun and he went out to the goth club with my friends and I and we danced and then had sex until 6am. We kind of had a few moments where things started to venture into more than just booty call territory. He's not normally an everyday texter, but after last Friday he started texting me several times a day and talking to me on his lunch break and we were exchanging songs we were into and whatnot. There was a lot of texting about cuddling and missing each other and about how I didn't need to be afraid of being affectionate with him.


I was supposed to go to his place yesterday because we've been trading off who drives where, but he ended up coming down here again. He found his best friend/roommate with his ex-girlfriend on the kitchen table and found out that this has been going on since before they broke up and decided that being there was definitely not a good idea.

So I got off work and met him over at a friends house and then we went out for Chinese and played footsie under the table while we talked about our experiences with depression and relationships and all that good happy stuff. Then we smoked a giant blunt and drove out to this huge nature preserve with hiking trails. He led me to this meadow out in the middle of the woods with this huge old statue. We were both incredibly high and ended up having sex behind the statue. Check that off the bucket list. We walked hand in hand along the trails and talked for awhile after that. Then we went to the liquor store to pick up some Stoli to take over to my best friend's place. We got there and my best friend had invited over her man friend/booty call/whatever and we all got super stoned/drunk and watched the Wedding Singer. Great White Buffalo and I ended up falling asleep on each other and my friend and her thing moved into her room. Neither of us were good to drive, so we crashed on my best friend's couch and cuddled and then had more sex until like 4 in the morning.

After he left I've just been feeling so weird. I don't know how to process this. I know that neither one of us is in any place for a relationship, but something about this bugs me. I don't need to rush things and I don't need him to be my boyfriend right now, but I just want something. What that is, I don't know. I don't really want to stop hanging out with him, but at the same time I don't know how to deal with it if this doesn't end up going anywhere. I feel like I'm in limbo or something.

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