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Welp, I'm a terrible person

Today I got a text from some girls I used to work with in another department at my office. They wanted to get together for drinks. How nice is that? Except I immediately started to look for ways to get out of it. I am such a bitch. :/

I'm very much an introvert. I need days of advance warning to ramp myself up to being social. Most of the time I try to weasel out of stuff like this even if I get advanced notice. After a day of work I am weary and I just want to go home.


I have an hour plus commute home (I live in a different state than I work in) so by the time it's time to go home, I'm just done. It's so hard to explain that to people, though. "Come out and have drinks with us!" "Gee, I would love to but I have a lot of sitting in my room alone to catch up on..." I've even made excuses to not ride the train home with a coworker because I am done with talking and I just want to read my book.

So I made an excuse about having a late meeting tonight and then felt like shit when they offered to wait for me. I offered to meet them at the bar if they'd tell me where it was. A half hour later I hadn't gotten a text back, so I snuck out of the office like I was in a spy film and got on the train home. I got a text later saying they hadn't realized they had gotten my text and told me the name of the bar. By that point I was already in my home state and basically said "I'm so sorry, I went home! I didn't get a text back!" to which the reply was "Oh no! Come back!!". What, I am in another state now!

I figure it's a wash. I made an excuse so I could go home, they didn't text me back, but I still feel like an awful, awful person. I was going to text back that we could meet next week but I know already I don't want to do that and I'll just worm out of it again. Isn't that just... awful?

I function on a high level of anxiety so of course I'm over thinking the hell out of this... Augh, why can't I just do things like normal people, like go out for drinks after work. How simple is that? Yet all I want to do is race home and then feel sorry for myself that I'm boring. :/

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