Hey y’all! Sorry I’m late, I know I promised I would do these on Mondays but life got in the way. This episode was DOPE, so let’s dive in!

Bernard and Dolores are hanging out again, like they do. She tells him that it hurts that everyone she loves is dead and he asks if she wants him to make her forget so that the pain goes away. She says no and gets all poetic, building on a script that had been written for her previously. She then asks him if something is wrong with her, because she feels like the world is wrong, but that could be because she’s losing her mind. Bernard tells her that if she finds the center of the maze (!!!) then she can be free and she says that’s what she wants.

Doolores wakes up at McPoyle’s camp holding a gun. McPoyle hands her coffee. This dude is TOO EARNEST it’s annoying.

We cut to Maeve in the saloon, staring off into space. She talks to the other prostitute there (I forget her name) and then flashes back to a time when one of the men at a table in the saloon killed everyone. She remembers being shot, and two of the cleanup guys working on her, one of whom sounds like Bernard. They left part of a bullet in her. She goes back to her house to see if she sees a wound (she doesn’t), then draws a sketch of one of the cleanup guys. She then finds multiple similar sketches under the floorboards and understandably freaks out.

Next we see Boss Lady asking Elsie about the host that smashed its own head in, while Extra Hemsworth scowls in the background. They don’t know why the host went off his loop, but that they can figure it out from the parts they recovered. Elsie gets mad at Bernard for not standing up to Boss Lady and accepting her taking over the analysis, and tells him that the problem isn’t just a glitch. Bernard tells her not to read too much into host behavior, not to project her feelings onto the hosts. Methinks Bernard might be projecting a little too much himself. He also snarkily points out that the constellation isn’t Orion because Orion’s belt has three stars, not 4.

Dolores and McPoyle talk and he’s all solicitous and EARNEST. This fucking guy, I swear. His friend is all “stop it, she’s not real, I can just kill her if you’re distracted” which gets Dolores pretty nervous. McPoyle gets righteous again and his friend (I guess future brother-in-law, really) is like EVERYTHING IS BUSINESS LET’S GO SHOOT THINGS. Real charmer.

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Speaking of charmers! The Gunslinger is killing snakes all over the valley looking for one that’s laying eggs, since Lawrence’s daughter told him that’s where he would find the maze. Then they see a pretty girl with a snake tattoo bathing in the river. How fortuitous! The Gunslinger joins up with her gang to go get Hector back from jail in exchange for the story of her snake tattoo.

Dolores talks to Lawrence’s daughter at the fountain, and after some flashbacks she notices that the girl has been drawing the maze in the dirt. Then a man, presumably a host sent by Extra Hemsworth to get her back on her loop, tries to take her back to the ranch, but McPoyle (UGH) intervenes. They have a nice little fireside chat about how she feels something is calling her away, and then she kind of goes into a trance where the moon turns into a light and she has a flashback of the cleanup crew picking her up after the shootout that killed Teddy.

One of Snake Girl’s posse thanks The Gunslinger for his “foundation,” saying it saved his sister’s life. He tells them to leave him alone, he’s on vacation, and threatens to kill him if he brings it up again. Then The Gunslinger talks to Snake Girl about Arnold, tells her that Westworld is only a game, because people who come there can’t die. He also said that Arnold died in the game with one story left to tell, one with “real stakes.”He decides that three days is too long to get to Hector, and he and Lawrence turn themselves in. In the wagon, he tells Lawrence that Lawrence has always been a slave and he can set him free.

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At the jail, The Gunslinger asks Hector about his worldview and Hector tells him that only truly brave people can realize that everything that happens ends badly and no one can be saved. He then blasts them out of jail with an exploding cigar, and the cigar he had given to the sheriff earlier explodes as well, killing him. Back at the camp, The Gunslinger tells Hector that he’ll never find what he’s looking for in the saloon safe, and Snake Girl tells the Gunslinger about her tattoos, as promised. Turns out Wyatt’s men killed her whole family and she’s been hunting them down ever since, coloring in another portion of the snake when she does. The head is the only piece left, and that’s for when she kills Wyatt.

We see a group of Native Americans moving through the square, and one of the children drops a doll. Maeve picks it up and sees that it looks like one of the cleanup crew, and she’s told that the tribe worships them as some kind of god, but that they won’t talk about it.

Meanwhile, Bernard and Boss Lady are in bed and he gets all feelings-y on her. She tells him she’s going to have lunch with Ford about the new storyline and Bernard gives her advice on how not to show emotion. She meets him at a restaurant in the park overlooking a field that the hosts are harvesting, and she says she had eaten there when her family brought her there as a child, possibly at the same table. Ford tells her he knows she doesn’t like the park, and she agrees but says she admires its “audacity.” He tells her that Arnold preferred the hosts to real people and that he had begged Ford to keep people out who were trying to simply make money off of it. THEN ALL OF THE HOSTS IN THE FIELD AND THE RESTAURANT FREEZE as Ford tells her that he and Arnold were gods and that the “money men” were merely guests. Boss Lady realizes she is indeed sitting at the same table from her childhood, and Ford tells her that he knows everything about the guests and staff alike, to be gentle with Bernard because he’s “sensitive.” Then the hosts unfreeze and Ford basically tells her not to get in his way. When she tells him that the board would agree with her and he tells her their representative has already been sent. The ground shakes as the hosts leave the garden, and Ford tells her not to worry about the new storyline being a retrospective, because he’s not sentimental. The whole thing is creepy AF.

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Dolores tries to help McPoyle bring in the men who are holding a family hostage in their house, but of course he doesn’t let her. Snooze. The men shoot up the outlaws and take their leader hostage, who then tells the group, Dolores included, that he answers to El Lazo. Skeevy friend guy (Jason?) shoots the bounty hunter and tells McPoyle that they just found an Easter egg, and that the El Lazo storyline is one of the best in the park. Dolores of course tries to stand up to him and he threatens her again, while McPoyle calls him names and refers to Westworld as a game again, confusing Dolores. Skeevy friend goes off with the man they captured alone, and good fucking riddance.

FINALLY, Hector and his men get to town. The musical choices in this show are amazing, btw. As Hector starts shooting in the saloon, Maeve holds a gun to his head and says they have to talk. And HOT DAMN do these two have chemistry. She promises him access to the safe in return for answers about the cleanup crew. He tells her that the drawing is of a “shade,” a man who walks between worlds who oversees their world. Which isn’t far from the truth! He also tells her that a dreamwalker told him it’s a blessing to see a shade, but I think we already know that’s not strictly true. She shows him where she should have a wound from being shot and asks him to dig the bullet out of her. Snake Girl is shot in the street, losing her chance to get her revenge on Wyatt this round. Hector digs the bullet out of Maeve just as the “cavalry” is coming up the stairs, and he asks her what it means. She tells him it means she’s not crazy and that none of “this” matters before HARDCORE MAKING OUT WITH HIM as the cavalry shoot through the door.

I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS:

Ford is a creepy motherfucker, huh? I can’t wait to see what his actual storyline is.

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It seems like there’s something written into the code for the hosts that helps them hide their memories from themselves. Something about Maeve having all those sketches under her floorboards makes me think they’ve known for a while that the hosts are remembering things.

The Gunslinger grabbed Teddy and brought him with them when he and Lawrence found him tied to a tree this ep-what do you think he wants him for?

Also I think at this point it’s pretty well-established that the Gunslinger is a regular person. Maybe someone who worked in the park before Arnold died?

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MOAR Rodrigo Santoro/Thandie Newton PLEASE.