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What do you do when it's not enough?

I’ve been with the bf for a while now, I guess about a year and nine months if I’m being exact, and he’s great. He’s thoughtful and intelligent. Funny and kind. He’s respectful and helpful to everyone he meets. His sunny disposition makes me want to be less snarky and judgey (I come from a snarky and judgey family, they are hard habits to get out of. But, hey, at least I’m trying).

However, he is very focused on his work and I often feel like I plan my whole life around his schedule. I realize that he doesn’t want to work weird and long hours but that given his recent career choices (which are otherwise very positive) those things are just part of the package. I’m trying to be supportive. I really, really am. But I’m sort of ... lonely.


We see each other every weekend and we talk on the phone every night we’re not together. He sends me funny YouTube videos and cute texts. But, still, something is missing. I feel like second fiddle. I feel like an afterthought or a footnote.

I want him to want to come home to me. I want him to plan his work around me for once, instead of the other way around. I want to know that he misses me sometimes like I miss him. I want to know that our relationship is important to him and that he looks forward to a future with me.


I know that maybe I should just say this stuff to him. But he’s so busy and stressed, I feel awful adding to it and I know that he’s trying to give me what I need. But what if it’s just not enough? What do you do when it’s great but not... enough? Do you wait, and hope it gets better? Or do you quit and try to find what you really what somewhere else?

Thanks for your thoughts in advance GT. I feel a little better already just getting this off my chest.

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