My BF has a friend who has decided that we need to be friends. When we were dating long distance I’d see her on occasion and hear about her through him. Even in small amounts I knew she wasn’t someone I’d want to get to know more. She can be very dramatic and attention seeking. I’m sure she’s a good person in plenty of ways, but it feels like she’s not a good fit for me. When I moved here, she asked BF for my contact info so we could have out. He knows I don’t want to hang out so he really tried. He didn’t give it to her because he said he didn’t feel comfortable doing it without asking. He also told her that he thought it would be too “worlds colliding Jerry!” for just her and I to hang out. Totally not true, but it was what he came up with. She refused to talk to him for days (her typical response when she gets upset) and instead friend requested me on Facebook. Since I see her on a regular basis, I felt I had to accept.
Now she’s messaging me all the time, fairly innocuous stuff. We do have some things in common. Yesterday she asked me if I wanted to hang out and I haven’t responded yet. I don’t know what to say. Part of me feels bad, since from her fb posts she’s dealing with depression and anxiety, and feels like her friends are ignoring her. I suffer from the same stuff, so I get it. The other part of me thinks that I shouldn’t be sympathy friends with someone.
If this wasn’t long enough already... I met a friend of hers and we just instantly clicked. Both divorced with the two girls, work in the same field, same sense of humor. I’d actually like to hang out with her and she wants to as well. I haven’t met a ton of people I’ve liked since I moved here so I’m excited. The problem is the original friend. If I hang out with just friend two, things will get all weird and dramatic and I don’t want that. BF confimed this what he thinks will happen as well.
This is all dumb. How do I deal with this gracefully?