Hi everyone! I wrote this a very long time ago for myself, but wanted to share now that I have posting privileges! I'm sorry if it sounds overly TMI or gushy, but I mean it, sincerely! Happy Thursdsy!

  • I have bipolar disorder, social/general anxiety disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, ADHD, a nerve disorder in my face that is crippling, chronic migraines, chronic sinus infections, horrendous allergies and hypothyroidism just to add a little diversity in there.

In 2005, I met my now husband who brought a whole new light into my world and only knew about the mental illness and allergies when he jumped right into my giant mess. He is honestly the best person I've ever known- I could go on about how wonderful he is to me and the rest of the world.

At the same time though, as my health problems snowballed, I lost friends. I don't necessarily blame most of them for that- it is hard to maintain a friendship with someone who can only offer a tentative "yes" to movies, parties and weddings because of their ever-changing health (read as: Trigeminal Neuralgia flares).

So, IRL I have very few friends. My husband, our roommate, my best friend who works 60+ hours a week, my family and a couple of friends that have moved out of state. I "know" lots o' people. I went to school with lots of people- I'm friends with them on Facebook and exchange the occasional "Happy Birthday!" or "Guess what happened?" I'd say less than 1o of these people know about my health problems. I in no way hide them- I'd put my picture on a billboard saying that I have bipolar disorder if it would benefit anyone... it's an easy topic for me to talk about with anyone who wants to know. But, I'm also not a status-updater on Facebook. I don't really feel that people need to know what I'm doing or where I am. I'll inform them that they should get their butts down to the capitol to defeat a craptastic bill, but other than that- if anyone really wanted to know, they could PM me.

ETA: When I do explain my health problem Or problems- ppl tend to do this weird, I feel sorry for you bs. Seriously, I don't feel sorry for myself, so I don't need you to try and do it.

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TL;DR: That was the long-winded background, here we go:

With the medicine I take, my mind doesn't move the speed that it used to. I frequently tell my husband that he has no idea how smart I am because he's only known me since I've been on the meds. I wouldn't give them up- they keep me sane, but I miss writing. Writing about anything.

Jezebel first, and then GroupThink most of all, have brought me to a place where I feel like writing again. I feel like my thoughts and opinions are valid and accepted. I have the chance each day to share my feelings with people, help with their feelings and get out of my own head. My thoughts actually go someplace now.

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I haven't ever known a group of people that I feel I'm emotionally, empathetically and intelligently on the same level with about most subjects. When I started a discussion on "My Formerly Fun Friend is a Health Nazi (paraphrased)" and a bunch of people joined in- I felt excited like I hadn't in a very long time. Other people got this shit- they were going through the same thing :-)

I feel all full of feelings now, I should go handle that. From someone who hasn't written, shared or enjoyed people outside my family in a long time, the little notification at the top is like a joyous high-five every time I see it.

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