What is it? Can someone just tell me? In the span of five days, I’ve lost and found an apartment, had a date with a woman who was late because she suffered a concussion on the way, navigated purchasing health insurance for the first time, travelled multiple hours by bus to be with a friend whose mother just suffered a massive stroke, regularly walked my friend’s dog, and somehow managed all of life’s other obligations without forgetting anything. Basically I just do not have the mental energy right now to dive into that particular Gawker column to ferret out the joke—which is what I am almost certain it is. I think. I don’t know. Do you know? Please tell me.

I feel like everyone I know is sort of blinking at the dawn right now after having the weirdest, roughest week. Did the moon do a weird thing? Did someone capable like Tilda Swinton put a curse on everyone? Are we going to be okay?