Welcome To The Bitchery
Welcome To The Bitchery

What is up with me at the moment?

Boy Floreat has been out of town since Monday and won' be back til Thursday. I'll admit that I'm pretty clingy (and so is he, so it's fine) but it's kind of concerning how up and down I am without him here. I haven't had any depressed thoughts since March, but because he's gone and I'm relatively new in this city I'm kind of lonely. The people at work are lovely but I get so bored in the evenings. So I come on here and I've already got into "debates" which I KNOW I shouldn't do because I'm a delicate wee flower - the internet is not a good place for me and the nasty things people say all come back to me when I'm trying to sleep. Plus I can be quite condescending apparently (online and in RL), which I want to work on but don't know how, because I'm just not good at identifying it.

Every now and then I'm completely fine and even cheerful though? Even feeling quite grown up and professional - I really do love my career and feel secure in it. It's just when I get home I bounce around... I have been watching the US Office and learning some Adobe stuff so perhaps the distractions are helping, but I don't feel like there's any control to my mood swings.

Is it concerning that I'm this reliant on my boyfriend? I've been this stupid before and I don't want to repeat it. I'd love a solid group of friends but there was a bit of a falling out before graduation and the ones that are still friends with me have moved to their grad jobs in London. My company is very small and everyone is older than me. I have great fun at work, but I just don't know anyone in the city, so BoyFloreat and I just do our own thing. We've done some awesome stuff lately - we went to Belfast, we've been to the beach, we've had a picnic, we've tried out various pubs, tried wall climbing and watched loads of new movies, but nothing that helps me meet new people and have my own set of friends that's not tied to him. I don't think we're going to break up, but I'm very aware that relationships need a bit of difference. Both my previous relationships were killed when we both got sick of each other and I don't want that to happen with this one.

And I just miss him so much :(

Any advice? I don't know what I'm trying to do here to be honest. But you guys are all lovely so it makes me feel better to moan about my first world problems to you!


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