I'm a pretty small person (thank you years of eating disorders!!) and I went to the doctor for my yearly physical this week. This is what it was like.

I came in, and I got weighed. The nurse didn't comment at all, but she did do that irritating thing where they just sort of swoosh it back and forth fast and then write it down as soon as it's kind of right. YOU HAVE TO LET IT BALANCE EXACTLY (don't fuck with someone with ED when it comes to taking their weight).

Based on my weight, height, and the infamous BMI chart, I was underweight. No one mentioned it. No one shook their head a little.

I had my exam, which wasn't uncomfortable. I was able to climb up the little stepstool and fit comfortably on the examining bed. The doctor and nurse were pleasant. The nurse thanked me for "making it easy on her" when I was shirtless and she was applying my EKG tags to my lower stomach (it's apparently a really thorough physical? is that normal?).

I got my test results back. My blood sugar was elevated, and I was really anemic. Two things that were clearly related to weight and diet, and still - my weight was never mentioned. I was told to get an otc iron supplement and that was it. No diet changes or other concerns.

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It was pretty boring, and uneventful. So why am I writing this? I don't know. Probably because it shouldn't have been. I know that based on my experiences being overweight in the past at the doctor and those I've heard from others, there is no way in hell that an overweight person would have walked into a doctor on the other side of the BMI scale and not heard about it. I know that there is no way in hell they would have walked out with two negative test results, both of which were related to diet and nutrition, and not gotten a lecture about their weight, or had it mentioned at all. Heck, most of the time you can have conditions that have nothing to do with your weight and the doctor will still make it all about your weight.

But I look the way people are "supposed" to look, and so even though I clearly have health issues related to it, it's not considered a problem.

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I'm hoping someone can sum up eloquently what I'm getting at, because I can't seem to find the words and I'm worried this will be offensive in some way. But goddamn it, I know that doctors can be shitty to people and I just want to say that they really aren't shitty like that to everyone, even those who they should be. I know for a fact this doctor has commented on the weight of other patients in the past - patients who were healthier than I was, but happened to weigh more.

So in case you're wondering what the other side is like, it's exactly what you'd think it would be like. Maybe you start thinking that the doctor has a point and that you should be ashamed. Maybe you start thinking that they're right in seeing you as a fat person and not just a person. Maybe you think that's just how the doctor treats everyone and you shouldn't be mad. Please don't.