I’m drinking a bottle of Sangiovese and wishing I didn’t work at 6am tomorrow, and considering watching some more Bojack Horseman.
Also, an update since I haven’t been around for the last few weeks- I’m just trying to stay busy and take care of myself through this breakup. I have been trying to eat better foods, get sleep, exercise, et cetera. I’m doing marginally better than I was a few weeks ago, but it still sucks. I saw him last weekend doing set up for an event I was working at the nonprofit we both volunteer for. It felt like being punched in the stomach. He came up and tried to talk to me at one point but I shut him down...he actually grabbed my arm when he was walking past which REALLY pissed me off. I had set a clear boundary that he was not to approach me, touch me, or talk to me if he saw me there at work. I had some friends there that were able to be kind and supportive, which I am grateful for. It’s just hard sifting through all of these mixed feelings. Some days I am incredibly angry, like I’ve been today. Other days, I just want to curl up into a ball and cry for hours. Some days it feels like nothing even happened and I’m moving through life pretty well. Others, I just feel totally numb. I wish there was consistency. I have a hard time not judging myself when it feels like my emotions are so up and down. I miss him, but I want nothing to do with him, but I dream about him, yet he’s proved himself to be an unreliable self-involved prick who is deep in denial, but I miss my best friend. ugh.
tell me about your weekends, GT? distract me please?