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What's your secret superhero identity?

Hey, GT. Let's play a game. So thanks to SCIENCE and MAGIC and ACCIDENTS and TRAGIC BACKSTORIES and PLOT DEVICES, we've all gotten super powers! Whoa, who knew?! Now, we could just sit around and do nothing with these powers, but that's lame. So clearly what we need to do is form our very own GT super-team! THE GROUPTHINK FRIENDS!*


*Thus named so I can post a lot of Super Friends gifs. Don't judge me.

This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.
This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.

Clearly, it's important that we keep a rooster of our team so we know how many bottles of wine to bring to meetings. I need you all to tell me who you are. All these masks and funny tights make it hard for me to tell anyone's real identity.

So, what's your power set? What's your secret identity? How did you get your powers? Is your costume particularly ridiculous? Do you have weaknesses?


We'll keep our extra super secret list here WHERE NO VILLAINS CAN FIND IT. VILLAINS GO AWAY. THIS ISN'T FOR YOU. I'll start it off.


My name is BAKER LASS. I have the power to produce delicious baked goods out of thin air. Cookies, cakes, pies, you name it. Yes, even cronuts. SUCK IT, OBNOXIOUS BAKERY LINE. Baked goods are perfect for fighting crime. Most of the time people just want cookies, and when they don't, well I don't see any criminals running away if they're buried underneath layers of POUND CAKE, do you?

I got my powers by baking in a kitchen with a radioactive oven. My weakness is kale.


So, that's me, now what about you?


The GroupThink Friends Roster

Fishnets is... BAKER LASS!


Competencykills is.... DISAPPEAR-O!


Pixiestix is... AFRO SAMURAI!

Glitterbug is... ALCOHOZAM!

AcidMartini is... TRIVIA ADEPT!


FreeSampleThief is.... CUTE KITTY CATASTROPHE!

NYCyclist is... HUMMINGBIKE!

Kirov is.... ABU TIARA!

Raindogiswaiting is.... PROCRASTINATE GIRL!

Penabler is... SMOKE SCREEN!

Bagelsandlocksley is... INFORMO!

BlueAlaskan is... THE PHEREMONATOR!

Lucky Frog is.... THE SMASHER!

Heart_of_pyrite is... REVERSE COWGIRL!

Kyosuke is.... MISS ADVENTURE!

MyPrettyFloral Bonnet is... LA COIFFURE!

Whosits is.... THE FRUIT BAT!

Rawrglicious is.... THE PRICKLY PROTECTOR!

k2b is... INNUENDO LASS!

Ubertrout is... HEIMIE LAD!

Mcstabbypants is.... BAD ASS MOTHA!

Vivaciousvicious is.... LADY OBLIVIOUS!

Cassiebear is.... BEAR GRRRRRRL!

Thebrewedwitch is.... THE EXCHANGER!

Coffeejitters is.... GLUE GUN GIRL!

Bigtittiecommittee is.... SOULBANDIT!

Pollyjenna is.... RESONANCE!

Darklighter is... THE WEAVER!

Oakenpeter is.... HYPERSOMNIA!

And guest starring Wax-Tadpole as the BUTLER EXTRAORDINAIRE!

And this is our rooster:

Illustration for article titled Whats your secret superhero identity?

ETA: Fishnets has gone to bed (or is possibly at work by the time you read this). Keep adding names and I'll update the list when I can!

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