So, this weekend, Mr. Nom and I embarked on two long-awaited endeavors:

- Star Trek: Into Darkness

- Arrested Development S4

I am a Trekkie and can quote AD all the day long. But...ummmm, they were... how shall I put this... Not. Good.

** potential spoilers **

ST:ID: Mr. Nom and I spent most of the ride home from the theater venting about how ridiculously convoluted and overly twisty the plot was. As in, Person 1 does A, B, C and D on the slim chance that a dozen other independent entities will react in very specific ways, thus setting Person 1 up to continue on with E, F, G and H of their nefarious plan. Razor-thin reasoning aside, Person 1 would not have had to do actions B, C, D, etc. if they had just done A correctly (for lack of a better term). If that was confusing, I'll try a different description: the sequence of actions were to this plot what a Rube Goldberg device is to a basic task.

It was so bad, I was actively rolling my eyes in the theater.

And, Benedict, oh my sweet, darling Benedict. I'm sorry, but no. No, you don't just get to recycle Sherlock's greatest hits and mash it up with your best Ben Linus impression. I get it, you play high-functioning sociopaths well. I can only imagine the direction he was under. "Cut! Benny, that was great. But let's do it again, this time, give me more pause between each word, maybe a little visible spit as you annunciate like you're the last man standing at the Scripps Spelling Bee. And, Chris, more flare in those nostrils 'kay?" The best way I can describe the film: It was JJ Abrams at his JJ Abrams-est.

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Star Trek, I grew up with you. I've got tremendous love for OS, TNG and DSN. So why you gotta do me like this, huh?

AD: Ron Howard's narration is about 60% of the new season. Entire scenes are just his voice over the action, explaining exactly what is happening. Dude. It's Arrested Development. The audience doesn't need everything explained to them, especially when it's covered in multiple episodes b/c of the parallel story-telling. Add to that, the dated Terry Crewes character; the dumbing-down of Michael Bluth from the earlier seasons; a daughter pimping her mother, a father and son dating the same woman and a husband sending in his twin brother to fulfill his sexual duties to his wife.

Have I asked for too much? Because I feel like

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Most randomly, this weekend I finally started watching Girls and... it was better than I expected. So is most of the remote-throwing frustration is still ahead of me?