I worked my ass of last year. Almost to the point of getting sick. Today, I got news about my bonus. Its good. Tens of thousands of dollars good (not crazy for my role and industry). I can now be debt free (minus modest student loan debt). I will have a savings account and 401k and good credit. This has never happened in my entire life. Less than 2 years ago I was getting wages garnished due to my partners secret debt. Today, things are good. I am terrified that I will fuck it up.