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When is it legit emotions versus withdrawal?

One of the problems of quitting smoking is I can't tell when I actually feel something versus when I am mostly just sad because I'm not filling my body with sweet ass synthetic happy dopamine (shutup, I am not in a science so I can't even tell if that's spelled or even accurate) shit.

Today I had a reading of my work, which whatever went well, people said so. Of course, they have to say so, so mostly it's just a big 'ol crock of shit. But GuyTronic "forgot" about it and did not attend. Yes, he is busy. Really busy all the time. He works three jobs and is applying for school. Though he had the day off, so I kind of thought he might come. And then he texted me to tell me he totes forgot, which is amusing to me as I was practicing the damn thing last night but whatever, we're both drinkers, we forget a lot of things.

I guess, it wouldn't bother me so much if he had remembered and just said he needed to work on things. It was the blatant "I forgot about this event of yours" that upsets me. I guess, to be fair, he can't even remember my work schedule, but I don't know. I feel hurt and then I feel guilty for being hurt since he works himself ragged. Oh, first world problems, you are shitty.


But in the boom-category, I got to take home the wine after. I suspect because people in my program think I'm an alcoholic. Win-win!

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