Welcome To The Bitchery

When people are unintentionally offensive.

I have been sitting on this and haven't mentioned it to anyone, but it is bugging me...

We spend Christmas Eve night with my mother's best friend's family out at their house. Her son, a guy I have known since I was 3 and dated in high school, does a beer tasting, we snack, and it is normally pretty great. Some years, other families join us. This year, another friend of the mothers and her family joined. I went to school. K-12 with one of her daughters, so I always like catching up with her. Except this year.

This year, the daughter brought her redneck boyfriend. I was chatting with the two of them and the topic of how it sucks to have to break up Christmas among a couple's family came up. I said something about one of the benefits of being with a Jewish man is that splitting Christmas isn't a problem because his family doesn't celebrate Christmas. The boyfriend got all wide-eyed and offered, "Oh, well, uh, he doesn't look like a Jew." He thought he was complimenting my fiancé and me. I said, "what now, are you going to say something about his nose?" And the daughter laughed and said something about my original comment about Christmas being an antisemitic joke. I said that there was nothing antisemitic about it. My fiance is Jewish. That is a fact. The boyfriend again offered, "well, he doesn't look Jewish. You're right, he don't have a Jew nose." So I just excused myself.


I feel like I should have handled myself better and said something stronger, especially because I am almost finished converting. I am also upset because I invited that woman's parents to my wedding since they are close with my parents, and I am concerned that they share the same discomfort being around Jews as their daughter and her boyfriend. It will be a Jewish wedding; half the people there will be Jewish. Ugh. It was just really unpleasant.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter