To find wherever it is that I put my glasses BEFORE I take my contacts out?

So far I have tried to put on:

  • a flash drive
  • a fork
  • a Swiss Army knife
  • my old glasses
  • a cat toy
  • a different cat toy
  • a pair of scissors
  • my old glasses again
  • toenail clippers
  • a vaporizer

Ooo, wait, that last one wasn't mine, I swear.