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I walked a half mile today. Met with some students. Had a meeting. And I'm exhausted. Not sleepy exhausted, but bone tired weary.

I've had all the medical tests done. All of them. No one has figure out what happened. All I know is that since January, when la drama happened, I got no zip. The girl who once did 90 minute hip-hop classes can barely climb a flight of stairs.

It's so frustrating to have something wrong that doesn't show up on tests or scans. The cardiologist was SO SURE it was a thyroid problem, but the tests show nothing. It's not lyme. It's not cardiac. It's not kidneys.


Please don't tell me it's a mental illness. I've had depression. It didn't make me breathless after walking for 10 minutes.

I miss being myself and I'm terrified I'll never get back there. I hate myself for feeling this way. GGRRRR COME ON BODY! GET ON WITH IT!

I will now do zumba in my head.

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