When you finally decide that “I will only continue in situations that make me happy and not neurotic”, life becomes much less shitty. Because if you’re like me, any situation that involves men can sometimes return you to feeling like your 14...
Over the last month I’ve been nursing a crush on my dance partner. He’s been giving me mixed signals as to his interest in me and after an evening dance where he ignored me the whole time to chat with another woman, I spent the whole time feeling 14 and ignored and like the awkward loser with glasses who no dude is attracted to. Then I gave my head a shake and I realized that I wanted none of these feelings and generally the whole situation was a big, fat NOPE.
Did any of you reach a point in your dating life where you just weren’t interested in playing the chase game anymore? I just have no more patience for guys who can’t decide if they are into me or not, or who might be into someone else. I was sad for a bit because I was hoping it might go somewhere, but I realized that I was more hoping to have a special friend during the holidays as a distraction, because this holiday is going to be filled with memories of last year with my ex and his family (which was really great Christmas), and so this year will be really really hard.
But its not worth it to be to feel like the 14 year old ugly duckling and be all neurotic with thoughts of : “Does he like me? Does he like her better? What can I do to make him like me more?” in order to *maybe* be having sleepovers with some guy who feels lukeward towards me to feel less lonely during the holidays.
I will just face those feelings and accept as they are, as not feel bad for feeling sad, lonely and wishing for a significant other because THOSE ARE ALL VALID FEELINGS. And wait to meet someone who’s totally into me, because I can’t do that other shit anymore.