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When your mother and your grandmother hate each other

How do you deal with such bullshit family drama, you guys?

My mother and her mother have a very fraught relationship. They go through cycles of tolerating and maybe even liking each other a bit and complete, furious hatred. Well, right now we're in the hatred phase.

My grandma, who still lives in Bulgaria, was supposed to get some surgery in December, so my mom booked a flight to stay with her. A few days ago, my grandma changed her mind about having the surgery and all hell broke loose. On my mom's side of things, the situation is complicated because she's super stressed about a car accident her husband had this week. No one was hurt, but her car sounds pretty totaled and he smashed through our garage door. My grandmother doesn't really appreciate the reality that my mom is not swimming in money and losing 50% of the price of her last minute flight across the ocean is not a negligible financial loss.


On my grandmother's side of things is doubt about the publicly funded surgery, which sounds more risky than a private, more expensive option. She basically wants to weigh her options before choosing how to do the surgery, and my mom can't let her have that autonomy. She also says she doesn't want my mom there for her recovery, because she stresses her out too much.

So now, I'm kind of stuck in the middle of things, trying to calm both of them down. From my mom, I have to hear about how exasperated she is with everything going on back home around the car accident, as well as how selfish my grandmother is being. From my grandma, I have to hear about what a horrible person my mom is for bossing her around and how she's basically Satan. I just don't know what to do anymore. I guess ignore is the best option, especially since I'm on my own continent, away from both of them for now.

So anyways, yay, family drama...

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