I feel so bad for my stepkid, and just have to rant to someone for a minute. No mainpage.
SO. Yesterday was my stepdaughter's eighth birthday. Her mom didn't bother to call. Her mom has changed her phone number AGAIN, and never gives it to any of her relatives. So basically, my stepkid spent half of her birthday sad and angry, because she feels like her mom doesn't love her anymore.
Long backstory: Stepkid has lived with us for a little over two years, after mom lost custody about two and a half years ago. Mom has never had a job, and has never paid us a dime of child support. Mom lost custody due to child neglect (of the other, younger boys, not of my stepkid, who she kind of favored) and drug issues. When she does talk to her kids, she repeatedly lies to them about how she'll have a house soon, they will all come and live with her, maybe they can come visit this weekend, etc. She lives three states away, and refuses to take a drug test that our custody agreement requires she pass before spending time with the kids, so yeah, weekend visit: not gonna happen.
Oh, and here's the true kicker: my stepkid (at age five, when they lived together) witnessed her mother giving blowjobs, often had to harass her mom to make sure she and her younger brothers were fed, and was put in charge of her younger brothers for extended periods of time, to include diaper-changing duty. When she was five.
So mom is a piece of work. But my stepkid still loves her, which is natural, and we'd like to have her in the stepkid's life as much as is healthy, so at least phone calls. I'd be open to more if mom ever straightens herself out, gets sober and gets a job.
So I look mom up on Facebook today. This woman had the nerve to post a happy birthday message to her daughter on there, the daughter she didn't even bother to call that day. She posted it via mobile device, so she clearly has a working phone. I am so angry with this woman, so filled with rage that she continues to hurt her amazing, remarkable kid. All this kid wanted was a phone call, to know her mom loved her and was thinking of her. She wasn't expecting presents, or even for her mom to be sober while on the phone. But no. Yet again, there's one more abandonment issue, one more day of feeling unworthy of her own mother's love that this woman has passed down.
So we hugged a lot yesterday. And today. And played video games and ate cake and told the (amazing, smart, caring) stepkid how wonderful and special she was.
It wasn't happy birthday from her useless mother. But it was all I could give her, and it breaks my heart.