I have delivered two children. One c-section, one vbac (during which I tore, including ~inside~).

So Mr. Nom just want and got his vasectomy. Literally is driving home from it right now. Which is awesome! And there are, apparently, two stitches. Two.

So I’m talking to Mr. Nom who tells me that the doctor told him he can’t lift more than 10 lbs for the next 3-5 days. Which, uh, hmmmm, ok. Didn’t know penises did any lifting, but whatever. Naturally, I double-check if it’s ok that I still go visit my friend and her 3 wk old child tomorrow, since that will leave him with our 6 y.o. and 11 m.o. and I basically get a snippy, “Fine, if I rip my stitches, I’ll just go to the hospital.”

Um. Excuse me!

I get that it’s doctor’s orders and ripping those stitches would be hell, but a 15 lb baby is too much?

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I DON’T RECALL ANY CONCERN ABOUT ME PICKING UP OUR SON WHEN I HAD 8 INCHES OF STITCHES ACROSS MY ABDOMEN. NO ONE SAID, “HEY HONEY, I’LL CARRY THE BABY UP AND DOWN THE STAIRS SINCE YOUR CROTCH LOOKS LIKE A MURDER SCENE.”

Why are men such g-damn snowflakes when it comes to health stuff?!

Update: We talked a few minutes ago, I kept my cool and asked if he needed me to stay home tomorrow and he said, “No, it’s fine. I was just feeling sorry for myself.” Turns out he had to ask the doctor to give him extra pain meds on each snip so, even if his threshold is low, he was/is in pain and was freaked out. So I’m going to see my BFF tomorrow.